


Don't EVER Work With Them

by I_Am_Titanium



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics)
Genre: Endless Bantering, F/M, S.H.I.E.L.D. Mission, Sniper Bobbi, Yacht
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 23:36:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11497170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Am_Titanium/pseuds/I_Am_Titanium
Summary: Remind Coulson to never team up with Agent Barton and Agent Morse ever again. They are ridiculously uninmaginable.





	Don't EVER Work With Them

**Author's Note:**

> A quick S.H.I.E.L.D. Mission on a Yatch. Birthday present for a Hawkingbird friend who is not on AO3. 
> 
> A little too much bantering dialog then I initially designed, but okay.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Have you tried the caviar yet? You know, I’ve been here for a party before. I would kill for it, literally."  
  
"I can’t believe I’m the one who’s saying this, but can you please, please stay focused on the mission?" Clint growled in a low voice as he stopped a waiter and took a cup of caviar unwillingly. He licked a little and spat out immediately, making a face clear enough for Bobbi to see it in the sight.  
  
"You are a bad, bad boy, Barton." Bobbi grinned in mischief as she loaded and unloaded the bullet in the sniper, eyes never leaving the carnival fifty feet below yet sounding bored to hell. "But I do love the way you pronounce the simplest magic word 'please'. Maybe we can try some more the next time we-"  
  
"And you are aware that you two are on the public channel, right, Agent Morse?" Coulson’s voice abruptly cut in and, frankly, startled both. Bobbi dropped a bullet on the metal ground, though she was too high above the crowd to let this tiny noise be heard. Clint, on the other hand, was not so lucky. He bumped into a muscular bald man with tattoos all over the exposed skin, earning himself a rough shove.  
  
"Mira por dónde vas!" The big man yelled with a swinging fist. Clint narrowed his eyes as he stood still, waiting for the man to walk away. He could dislocate his shoulders within a heartbeat. Just a quick knock two inches away from the collarbone and a twist of wrists. No big deal.  
  
"And expose yourself completely. Walk it off, Clint." Bobbi reminded casually in the com, every word exactly what he thought. "It’s just a rude guy. Wouldn’t worth it."  
  
"You know, it would’ve actually sounded romantic if not creepy, for you to be so considerately in me." Clint winced in embarrassment when he realized what he just said, "By 'you', I mean 'your voice’; by 'me', I mean 'my head’-"  
  
"Yep. Totally get it. Not the other, much worse way." Bobbi’s grin grew wider as she watched in intrigue, one hand casually on the railing beside her. "Wow. Didn’t know you have this little boy in you. A surprise. In a good way, of course."  
  
"What are you talking about and can you shut up?!" That was untrue. He was one hundred percent clear what she was talking about. He looked around for their target, trying desperately to change the subject, "I think I saw Sun went that way. I can catch up with-"  
  
"Jesus Christ, are you really _blushing_ now, Clint?" Bobbi would absolutely laugh out loud had she didn’t need to stay hidden. He turned his face away to hide, but she could still see his burning ears in her telescopic sight.  
  
"Approaching the target." Clint ignored her weakly, pushing his way in the crowd toward the main deck. " _Shut up_ , Morse."  
  
They fell silent for a moment as the night grew thicker and darker above them. Ocean of stars shone unobstructively as they steered further into boundless abyss. The yacht lit up at some time past eight, shrouding passengers with warm lights.  
  
Clint looked better in these. Younger. Softer edges, less white hair, clearer muscle line. He was dressed in suits as the gala required, looking almost as handsome as the day they met.  
  
"Looking good, Adonis." Bobbi realized she had been holding her breath just staring at him. She fumbled for her batons to cover it up, but judging by the smile on his face, he heard.  
  
"Don’t know who that is, but I’ll take that as a compliment." Clint bent to fetch a taser arrowhead beneath his leather shoes as he made his way to the drug dealer they were supposed to take out for this mission.  
  
"You don’t read Greek myth when you have an actual Greek demigod in your team?" Bobbi crooked one eyebrow in doubt. " _Seriously?_ "  
  
"Hey, I never get to finish my middle school, okay?" Clint shot back quietly, standing as normal as he could beside a plant, where he had a clear view. A tall, strong man with thin lips in his thirties, was leaning against the railing on the second deck answering a phone call, too absorbed to notice he was being watched at the same time.  
  
Joyce Sun. Successful businessman—if you counted monopolizing heroine market in Madripoor as "successful". Selling drugs to children. Inducing people with heavy debts to take drugs to pay off. All those typical scumbags descriptions. It all seemed irrelevant to S.H.I.E.L.D. until several soldiers of American base force, who were in fact undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, on a isle near the main island of Madripoor were found positive in their random drug tests. His days would end soon.  
  
Bobbi snorted, throwing her batons in the midair. "If you really want to know, he’s Aphrodite’s pretty boy or something. When he died, Aphrodite and Persephone fought over him so they compromise. Half of the year he stayed with Aphrodite so spring and summer lasted. The other half year he was with Persephone so came the fall and winter. I think. Literature wasn’t my favorite subject back then."  
  
"What is, then? Biochemistry and Ass-Kicking?" Clint held up two fingers in front of his eyes to measure the distance, brows furrowed. Too many people around him to get a clear shot. Maybe he should try other alternatives. "And are you saying that you are Aphrodite?"  
  
"Yeah, probably both." Bobbi chuckled, "Actually, to be fair, it was science. I was an out-and-out nerd back then."  
  
"You still are now." Clint sighed, putting back his arrowhead, frustrated, "You know, we should have switched. You could’ve charmed your way around that goof. Look how he ogles those women passing him by. And I should’ve been the one on the rooftop, eyes on everything. That was the better way."  
  
"First, you broke the carpal bone of the guy who tried to touch me on the last mission." Bobbi started, counting on her fingers, and Clint immediately regretted his decision.  
  
"My fault. I shouldn’t have brought this up." He doubled back to a dinning table to take a piece of mango and took a bite, searching the room, this time for security details.  
  
"But you did." Bobbi continued smugly, "Second, you were the one stupid enough to drop your quiver in the Strait of Malacca."  
  
"Coulson, you there, buddy?" Clint called out in a low voice in despair, "Help me out here."  
  
"Keep talking to yourself and blow your cover. Not okay with that. Focus on the mission here, Barton." Coulson replied almost immediately, sounding unconcerned.  
  
"You’ve been listening the whole time and you said _nothing_?" This time he spoke a little louder and caused some passerby to look at him, who faked that he was coughing.  
  
"Third, I’m cooler with a sniper. And I can operate one." Bobbi had clearly no intent to stop any time soon. "In fact, basically, I’m cooler with anything, even including your precious bow."  
  
Clint chose to stay silent. He turned to Bobbi’s direction and put one middle finger in the air.  
  
"Misbehaving now, Agent Barton?" Bobbi shook her head in amusement.  
  
"Since when did I behave, Agent Morse?" Clint retorted. Of course he did.  
  
"Clint." Bobbi warned, suddenly sitting straight up.  
  
"I’m serious. Behaving really isn’t my thing." Clint stood there toward Bobbi’s general direction with hands on his hip.  
  
"No, _Clint!_ " With a light "snap", Bobbi loaded her QBU88 in a neat second and already aiming. Clint turned around just in time to see two security guards raising their sidearm directly at his head.  
  
Two shots fired nearly at once. One came from Bobbi’s sniper fire when she shot one guard in the wrist and the second one came from his falling handgun and shot through the floor. The crowd burst into screaming and running, clouding Clint’s view of Sun. The third shot followed, hitting the other guard in the kneecap, who dropped the gun as he knelt down, yelping in pain.  
  
"Okaaaaay that was close." Clint managed in chaos and rushed toward where Sun was last seen. He seemingly remembered Sun had a whisper with a man with white suits right before he turned to Bobbi.  
  
_Should have foreseen that, Barton._  
  
"That is counted as one rescue, Clint. Don’t you think you can deny it." Bobbi reloaded her sniper, seriousness dropping a little in her tone. "And Sun went to the southwest corner. A lifeboat was parked there waiting for him. He also changed into beige suits. He knew someone was coming."  
  
"Yeah, no kidding." Clint started to running against the current. "And you are not counting this as an official rescue. I had things completely under control."  
  
"I don’t think having two suit guys pointing their guns at your sorry head is anywhere near 'under control'. Now go. I’ll cover other muscles behind you." Bobbi laid down her sniper and grabbed her batons.  
  
Clint threw a quick glance behind his back to see Bobbi back flipped into the air and fell forty feet, landing on the incoming guard to knock him out. She kicked another in the belly and twisted round, throwing out the batons to strike other two in the jaws.  
  
He continued with chasing, pulled out a net arrowhead.  
  
"Hey, Joyce Jiang Sun!" Clint called out when he was ten yards from Sun, and he turned his head, startled. The net caught him and bound his legs. He fell face down.  
  
Bobbi caught up behind her, long staff in one hand and a 0.22 in another. She stood beside Clint with a victorious grin. "I’m so sorry to do this because your caviar really are the best, but you… "  
  
She stepped up, staff’s end at his throat. "…you have failed this city."  
  
"He _what_?" Clint raised his voice in disbelief.  
  
" _The Arrow._ No?" Bobbi sighed when she saw him shaking his head, "Fine. You’re under arrest."  
  
"Remind me to never be your tactical backup ever again, Agent Morse and Agent Barton." Coulson’s voice rang inappropriately in their ears.

"No way, Phil. You love us." Clint chuckled as he put handcuffs on Sun.

"I have something to agree with Agent Morse. Shut up, Agent Barton."


End file.
